Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
