you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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