New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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