sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
