Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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