I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
