You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
