Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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