Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
