Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
