She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
