But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
