At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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