Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
