I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
