White coat. Heels.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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