I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
