Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
