last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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