We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
