dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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