oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well most of my day revolves around power hour
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
