GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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