he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
