i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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