I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
