Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
