Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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