Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
