Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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