Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
