I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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