i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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