The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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