pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
