Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
