Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Found the puke drawer
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
