We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I need a burrito and a hug.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
