I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
