went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
