We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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