I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
