How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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