I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
