Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
