the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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