I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
