i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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