Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
