Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think my fart just growled at me.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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