it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He felt like a one man threesome
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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