yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
