Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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